


stuck in our love that's gone

by timeofsorrow



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Getting Back Together, M/M, Makeup Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up, Protected Sex, Reconciliation, Smut, takes place before the vlive they did after their first win, why isn't that a tag tf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeofsorrow/pseuds/timeofsorrow
Summary: Hongjoong wants him back.Hongjoongneedshim back.





	stuck in our love that's gone

**Author's Note:**

> I was not planning on posting anything this month. (Shh, I know it's the very last day! I meant to post it earlier, but I'm such a slow writer! RIP!) I got ahead of myself with this one. It was entirely spurred by the events of Ateez's first win. I'm so happy for them. I hope they know there are bigger things coming for them really really soon. 
> 
> I had expected myself to weep over this, but I somehow didn't? Until it kept popping up on my timeline and in discord about the boys crying. And then CAW was crying. So then I was crying. RIP. 
> 
> Anyway, it was this [tweet](https://twitter.com/seonghwalovebot/status/1141701808026505221?s=21) in particular that really inspired me to really go and write this. And also inspired by the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C2v__OI8EY), 'Watch Memories.' One of my favourite ballads ever. So both of those things kind of played part in the making of this fic!
> 
>  
> 
> The title's taken from 'Watch Memories' by Kim Nayoung.

Hearing his team’s name called was the last thing he had been expecting. In fact, he had not been thinking he would ever be standing in the front of the stage waiting to hear _if_ their name would be called. 

The wave of shock that ran through him at that moment was of pure bewilderment. It struck his heart and travelled throughout the rest of his body like the warmth from a fire on a cold night. He really could not believe that it happened - that it _was_ happening. It made him stumble back a bit as he tried to quickly take it all in. 

He stood on the stage, mindlessly clapping his hands. It was so much for him to handle. His mind couldn’t keep up with the millions of his thoughts running a mile per hour. Overwhelmed with happiness; amazed by the turnout of events; more than extremely baffled.

At one point, he lifted his head, finally snapping out of his daze. He started walking to the left side of the stage. Not for any reason in particular. Just turning a different direction. 

Or so he thought. 

Because as soon as Seonghwa began to head that way, there he was.

Hongjoong.

Head faced down. Sobbing into the palms of his hands. And standing _alone_.

Something in him snapped.

His legs started taking him towards Hongjoong before he even realized what he was doing. He did nothing but run, like it was a life-or-death emergency. Arms held wide open to engulf Hongjoong into his embrace. 

It was _more_ than an instinct to him. It was _second-nature_. A _part_ of him.

To just wrap his arms around Hongjoong and hold him forever. 

They had not done that in a while. When _was_ the last time they hugged that way? He could not even recall any time. Especially not recently. At least not in the past six or seven months.

When he met with Hongjoong across the stage, immediately he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him from behind. Hongjoong had gripped his forearm with his small hand and latched onto him as they stumbled together to the middle of the stage. 

The action felt foreign yet familiar. But Seonghwa did not want Hongjoong to let go. And Seonghwa did not want to ever let Hongjoong go either. 

And it was meant it in more ways than one.

The rest of the time seemed to pass by like a blur. When Seonghwa looks back on it, it is just like a haze in his mind. Performing the encore of Wave, getting off stage while saying goodbye to their fans, a lot of happy cries backstage, and plenty more on the way to the van that would take them all home. 

He did not want to open wounds that had already been barely closed, but he could not find it in him to stray far from Hongjoong. Especially not after seeing him breakdown the way he did on stage. He sat next to Hongjoong on the ride home, to let him know that he was there for comfort and moral support, but he did nothing other than that.

It was not until he was half asleep that Hongjoong suddenly reached over and slid his hand onto Seonghwa’s lap, weaving his fingers around Seonghwa’s fingers until their hands were connected.

Seonghwa had looked up to see Hongjoong’s face, slightly startled that Hongjoong initiated such an action, but Hongjoong was still facing the window, watching the cars and trees that zoomed by as the car drove on. He did not know what it meant, but he did know that this meant they needed to talk.

For the rest of the ride, their hands were clasped together. There was never a word spoken. Not even a share of a glance. It was rather unsettling for Seonghwa that he could not tell how Hongjoong was feeling, so he hoped that Hongjoong would not ignore him later on and would tell him what he was thinking.

When they finally arrived at their dormitory, there was a rupture of happiness again. Seonghwa watched his members scream excitedly among one another as they made their way inside. Too invested in watching over them, he did not notice Hongjoong slowly inching toward him until the man was beside him. 

He felt a tug at his hand and looked down to see Hongjoong entangle their hands again. But when he looked at Hongjoong’s face, he was staring ahead. It was still hard to read him, but he felt they were getting somewhere. He did not say anything though, not wanting to ruin the moment.

They went in together, still holding hands, but once they began removing their shoes, Hongjoong’s hand escaped from him. He did not reach out to grab it back, but he did see how Hongjoong’s fingers twitched. 

He wanted to tell him that it was okay. That he could hold his hand if he wanted to. _Whenever_ he wanted to, in fact.

Hongjoong had finished first. Seonghwa watched as he then fully entered the dorm and basically speed-walked to their shared bedroom. He still stared ahead as Hongjoong turned around the corner and did not look back. 

His brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed out of confusion but he figured the only way to find out what Hongjoong’s problem was...was to follow after him.

After letting out a soft sigh, he stood up. He played around with the rest of the members for a bit, ruffling one’s hair and pinching another’s cheeks, before telling them to get cleaned up because they would have to go to the company building in a couple of hours. 

The exhaustion from endless rehearsals and performing on stage finally seemed to be catching up with him as he started to leave the younger group with a smile on his face.

And this is where he finds himself now.

There is a kind of dreading feeling in his chest as he turns into the hall and makes his way to the door of his bedroom. He does not know what will happen upon entering this room and he is admittedly very nervous about it. 

To calm his nerves, he takes in a deep breath and lets it go softly. _There’s nothing to worry about_ , is what he tells himself as he opens the door. _It’s just Hongjoong_.

And it _is_ just Hongjoong.

Hongjoong who is sitting on his compartment of their bunk bed and sobbing into his hands for what Seonghwa is seeing for the fifth or sixth time _this day_. 

Immediately, he shuts the door behind him and pretty much runs to Hongjoong’s side. He sits beside Hongjoong and pulls him against his chest, wrapping one arm around Hongjoong’s waist and using his other arm to run his hand through Hongjoong’s hair. 

“We did it. We did it,” is what Hongjoong repeatedly sobs out with voice cracks and nose sniffles. _We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it_.

All Seonghwa can do is hug him and whisper back confirmational words. He knows how much this means to Hongjoong. To all of them, of course, but especially Hongjoong. Their backbone. _Their leader_. The person that none of them could even be here without.

Sometimes he wonders what it would have been like for their team if anyone else was the leader. If _he_ was the leader. It is a thought that passes by every now and then. Makes him grateful because he knows that they would have never made it this far if it were not for Hongjoong.

If it were not for Hongjoong who is meticulous. Hongjoong who is wise. Hongjoong who is caring. Hongjoong who is kind. Hongjoong who is hard-working. Hongjoong who is creative. Hongjoong who is multifaceted. Hongjoong who is talented. Hongjoong who is responsible. Hongjoong who is determined.

_Hongjoong who was once someone he could every day hold close and appreciate dearly. ___

The thought of that makes him feel a piercing stab in his chest. He loves Hongjoong. Still loves Hongjoong. Never stopped loving Hongjoong. Could not ever cease loving Hongjoong. It is a fact that sits right in the middle of his soul and reminds him every single day. And it tends to overwhelm him.

He does not know how long they sit there before Hongjoong is abruptly pushing Seonghwa away, standing up, and escaping to the middle of their room. Seonghwa looks at Hongjoong in confusion, but never says a word. Hongjoong will say something when he is ready. Seonghwa knows that much.

“I can’t do this anymore,” is what Hongjoong finally says after a while.

Seonghwa feels himself wavering. He knows what is coming. “Do what?”

“This. _Us_.”

But he continues to play dumb. “I-I don’t know what you mean, Hongjoong. You have to clarify.”

Hongjoong sighs harshly. “I hate-” Then he suddenly cuts himself off. “You know what? Nevermind. Let’s just pretend this never happened.”

Seonghwa stands up, reaching out before Hongjoong can even take a step away, and grabs him by the wrist. “No! You obviously have something to say! Stop being a coward and just say it! This has been going on for far too long!”

There’s a scoff from Hongjoong as he looks up at Seonghwa with an incredulous expression on his face. “Me? A _coward_!? I’m the reason we’re even standing here right now!” Hongjoong shouts.

“ _You_? I’m the one who made the first move!” Seonghwa yells back. “If it wasn’t for that, you’d probably still be on your way to sulking your ass around in that damned studio!”

A flash of hurt crosses Hongjoong’s face. “Fuck you!” Hongjoong screams as he snatches his wrist out of Seonghwa’s grip and pushes him away with all of the strength that he can. “Seriously, fuck you, Park Seonghwa! You know fucking well how much being in the studio fucking means to me!”

There are tears in Hongjoong’s eyes again as he begins yelling at Seonghwa and _no_. This is _not_ what was supposed to happen. This is not what Seonghwa wanted. They were supposed to talk things out and have a proper discussion like the adults they are. Not yell insults at each other and point fingers like a pair of immature children.

Seonghwa grabs Hongjoong’s arm that’s hitting him on his chest and pulls him into an embrace. He wraps his entire frame around Hongjoong and holds him tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Hongjoong,” he immediately apologizes. “That-that’s not-” He cuts himself off with a whimpered sigh and squeezes Hongjoong.

Hongjoong is crying yet _again_. But this time, Seonghwa is the cause of it. He is upset with himself for that. He just wants to fix everything so that they can go back to being what they once were. _What they always should have been_.

“Please, just. I…” Seonghwa lets out a shaky breath of air to settle his nerves. “Tell-tell me what’s wrong, please. So I can fix it. So I can fix this.” 

_So I can fix us_.

It is not said aloud but the implication hangs heavy in the air around them.

Hongjoong emits a small hiccup and sniffs. “I miss you, hyung.” His words are muffled from the way he digs his face into Seonghwa’s clothing.

Seonghwa’s mind zooms in on the “hyung” Hongjoong uses. Hongjoong does not ever refer to him that way. It is a surprise to him. But now it makes him realize how much Hongjoong is feeling. How much he may be suffering. “I’m always here, Hongjoong,” he says softly. “I never went anywhere.”

Hongjoong shakes his head from where it lays against Seonghwa’s shoulder. “No, I _miss_ you. I miss _us_.”

“I…I don’t understand, Hongjoong. You’re the one who broke up with me,” Seonghwa says in return.

“It wasn’t-it wasn’t because I didn’t love you anymore!” Hongjoong replies quickly, clawing his fingers into Seonghwa’s clothing. “I-I couldn’t ever stop loving you,” he adds softly.

The confession from Hongjoong makes Seonghwa confused. “Then...why?”

There is a long moment of silence before Hongjoong finally speaks again. “I...I was scared,” he admits through a whisper.

“Scared?” Seonghwa frowns at that. He shoulders Hongjoong off of him so he can see his face. Then he takes Hongjoong’s cheeks into the palms of his hands and looks into his eyes. They are still glassy and wet from his weeping and Seonghwa feels his heart clench. “Baby, of _what_?”

The bottom lip of Hongjoong’s mouth slightly trembles as he tries not to cry again. “Our members,” he starts quietly. “The managers. The staff. The company. The public. _Our fans_.”

“Oh, Hongjoong…,” Seonghwa coos softly. He swipes a thumb across Hongjoong’s cheek endearingly with sad eyes. “Baby, why didn’t you just tell me?”

Hongjoong adverts his eyes elsewhere than Seonghwa’s face. “I was scared of your response too…,” he says. “I-I didn’t know what you would say, so I thought to keep myself from getting hurt, I would just...end it before it could hurt me first.”

Seonghwa wipes away the tears bubbling at the edges of Hongjoong’s eyes. “Communication is of the most essential keys to successful relationships, Hongjoong. We have to _talk_ to each other. You know that I would never ever get mad with anything you tell me.”

Hongjoong nods his head. “I-I know that now...but I didn’t know that then. I’m sorry, Hwa,” he apologizes, “I’m so sorry.”

Something in Seonghwa’s heart breaks as he hears Hongjoong apologize. “No. No. Don’t be sorry, Joong. It’s okay. It’s a lesson for both of us.” Seonghwa feels Hongjoong’s hands tighten in the material of the back of his shirt, so he lets go of his face to hug him tight as well.

Hongjoong wants him back.

 _Hongjoong needs him back_.

He is over the moon about it. The fact that Hongjoong never stopped loving him just as he did not. The fact that Hongjoong had been feeling the same _pain_ he had been feeling the past seven months. The fact that he was not alone in this pit of confusion after all.

They stay in each other’s arms for a while, just embracing one another and getting reacquainted with the acts of intimacy they once shared, before Hongjoong slightly pulls back to look up at Seonghwa with his shiny, brown eyes.

Seonghwa stares back down at him and gives him a fond smile. Then suddenly he is being pulled down by the collar of his shirt and Hongjoong is connecting their lips. 

It happens so quickly that he does not process it at first. But when he feels Hongjoong swipe over his bottom lip with his tongue, it is like a snap of a finger. He responds to Hongjoong by kissing him back with equal fervency.

It is not even long before Hongjoong is gasping out against Seonghwa’s lips, “Make love to me, hyung.”

The phrase causes Seonghwa to feel multiple waves of pleasure running down his spine. “N-Now?!” He exclaims after pulling away from Hongjoong’s lips.

“Yes,” Hongjoong giggles, his laugh sounding sort of wet, “now.”

Seonghwa stares into Hongjoong’s eyes for about five seconds maximum before taking Hongjoong’s face in between his hands and pulling him back in for a rough kiss. He does not waste a second and begins to push Hongjoong to walk backward until he hits the ladder of their bunk bed.

Hongjoong’s hands tangle into Seonghwa’s shirt at his waist as he responds to Seonghwa’s kiss with just as much haste and eagerness.

Seonghwa’s hands travel from Hongjoong’s face down to his neck, shoulders, and front of his chest. Just feeling. Touching all of the places that he missed. 

That he _craved_. 

_That he desired_. 

The kiss begins to get more heated as time passes. Seonghwa’s hands slide up under Hongjoong’s shirt, so Hongjoong begins unbuttoning it. When the last button becomes undone, Seonghwa pushes it off Hongjoong’s shoulders and it falls to the ground. 

He began dragging the palm of his hand everywhere on Hongjoong’s chest and torso before stopping at his hips and gripping Hongjoong by them to pull Hongjoong flush against his own chest.

Hongjoong whines into Seonghwa’s mouth and grips his shirt by the collar again. He pulls on Seonghwa’s collar, trying to give him the hint to take it off. When Seonghwa does not comply, he moves his hands downward and pulls on the hem of his shirt instead.

That action gets Seonghwa moving. He breaks away from the kiss, pulls the shirt over his head from the collar, and returns right back to kissing Hongjoong. Mindlessly, he throws his shirt and it ends up somewhere across the room. 

Again, his hands are on Hongjoong's face, caressing his cheeks. Then he tilts Hongjoong's head back, beginning to lick around the insides of his mouth. He as well takes hold of Hongjoong's tongue and plays with it, biting it with his teeth, swirling his own tongue around it, and even opening Hongjoong's mouth wider so that he can suck on it. 

It is quite filthy, the way that they kiss.

No restrictions. No hesitance. Fairly messy and noisy. Hot, sexy, and everything in between.

At some point, Seonghwa finally finds it in him to stop kissing Hongjoong. He pulls away with a gasp and a rather serious expression. "On the bed," pants out in a low, raspy voice.

Hongjoong whimpers at the tone of Seonghwa's voice as it sends shivers up his spine. He nods and Seonghwa lets him go so that he can turn around and climb onto the bed. 

"Lie down. On your back," Seonghwa says as he climbs onto the bed after Hongjoong and Hongjoong abides by his command embarrassingly quickly, lying his head back against his pillows. Seonghwa scoots in between Hongjoong's spread legs and looms over him like a shadow. Stares at Hongjoong for a moment, enamoured by his beauty, and then swoops down to take him by the lips once again.

The kiss is no different from before, sloppy and heated. Seonghwa grabs Hongjoong by his waist and uses a bit of his strength to pull Hongjoong down closer to his hips. 

Hongjoong sighs into Seonghwa's mouth and latches his small hands around Seonghwa's larger biceps.

Seonghwa brings one of his hands under Hongjoong's chin and holds him there with a thumb and pointer finger. Begins to break away from the kiss by licking the outsides of Hongjoong's mouth. Biting and pulling on his lips until they are light red and slightly swollen.

He moves further down, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong's skin each time he goes lower. From Hongjoong's chin to his neck to his shoulder to his pectoral. Takes in all of the gasps and small moans that Hongjoong emits every time he bites somewhere softly. Lets his hands travel over the surface of Hongjoong's skin as if he's exploring something new and never-seen-before.

When his fingers make it to the waistband of Hongjoong's jeans, he starts to undo them. Takes the button out of its hole and unzips the pants. Hooks his fingers under the fabric of Hongjoong's jeans and underwear and momentarily sits back on the haunches of his legs so that he can pull the clothing off of Hongjoong's legs.

Hongjoong helps Seonghwa by lifting his hips and slightly kicking his legs so that the pants come off him quicker. His socks also come off, getting lost in the now tangled pair of pants.

After the offending articles of clothing are off, Seonghwa throws them off of the bed, not caring where they land. Rather, he cares about Hongjoong. 

_Kim Hongjoong_. 

Cares about _the_ Kim Hongjoong and how breathtakingly beautiful he is. How much sex appeal he holds when he is not doing anything but laying against white sheets and staring up at Seonghwa with hungry eyes.

Seonghwa is so overwhelmed with how much love _he_ holds for Hongjoong. Feels it suddenly swell up in his chest and burst open throughout his entire soul like an explosion of fireworks. Realizes how much he would risk for Hongjoong. How much he would _give up_ for Hongjoong. It hits him so damned hard right then and there.

And he suspects Hongjoong feels the same with how the man looks up at him like he only sees the world. The world that is Park Seonghwa and only Park Seonghwa.

He cannot help the way he leans down and gently presses his lips against Hongjoong's. It is a very soft and sweet kiss with their lips moving against one another's slowly and lovingly.

It is a few moments longer before Hongjoong is the one to break the kiss. He slightly pulls away and looks into Seonghwa's eyes as he whispers against Seonghwa's lips, "Lube?"

Seonghwa lets out a tiny chuckle at the one-worded question and nods. He sits up and scoots backwards on the bed until he feels his feet hit the floor. Then he gets up and quickly walks over to their shared desk. Opens the drawer and searches around in the mess of items for a bottle of lubricant they usually keep in there. 

When he finds the bottle, he as well looks for the box of condoms they have but does not see it. He closes the drawer back and turns around to make his way back to Hongjoong who lies silently on his back.

Hongjoong looks at him and he tosses the bottle over to Hongjoong, who catches it easily. "Gonna' get the condoms from the bathroom. Be right back," he says.

A small smirk makes its way into Hongjoong's face, but he does not say a word. Just simply nods and bats his eyelashes at him.

Seonghwa snorts and gives a shake of his head with an eye roll. He turns around once again and makes his way across the room to open the door. When he opens it, he is hit with loud laughter and yells from the members in the living room. He steps out and shuts the door behind him.

Momentarily, he wonders if they heard him and Hongjoong fighting. It makes him frown as he opens the bathroom door and flicks the light on. He quickly opens drawers and cabinets, looking for the box of condoms he placed in there somewhere. As soon as he spots it, he lets out a sigh of relief and grabs it.

He flicks the light back off after putting everything back where it belongs. He is hit with the noise again as he exits the bathroom and it puts a small smile on his face. Somehow he feels like today is the start of a new beginning and it gives him some sort of a nostalgic feeling.

When Seonghwa walks back to the room and opens the door, he is greeted with Hongjoong crying into his pillow. Out of frustration, he suspects. He watches as Hongjoong is weeping, his ass in the air and his fingers sunk into his tight heat as deep as he can get them. 

But Seonghwa knows Hongjoong. Knows it is not far enough. That he will try so hard but his fingers are just not long enough no matter what angle he twists and turns and pushes them at.

A fond expression makes its way onto his face as he closes the door behind him. 

The sound causes Hongjoong to turn his head and make eye contact with Seonghwa. 

Their stares at one another are so intense and full of sexual tension. Seonghwa knows what Hongjoong needs and Hongjoong knows in return that Seonghwa will give it to him. 

And because of that, it feels like they never split; like they were still one after all of this time. _Still connected_. It is overwhelming, but not in a depressing way. In a manner that makes them feel relief. Makes them realize that they were stupid, dumb, naïve, and just in love.

Seonghwa makes the first move, breaking the eye contact between them. He strides over to their bunk bed, holding the box of condoms in the palm of one of his hands. 

“Need a hand with that?” He asks teasingly, a small corner of his lips pulled up into something sort of a sly smirk and an amused smile.

Hongjoong lets out a huff of air, eyebrows furrowing as he does. “You’re not funny,” he mumbles in a small voice as he carefully takes his fingers out of his ass and turns around on the bed. Flopping onto his back, his face is red, but his frustration completely outweighs his embarrassment. 

His lips jut out, forming into a small pout.

Seonghwa only grins in response.

He climbs onto the bed and spreads Hongjoong’s legs open before sitting in between them. Then he drops the box on the bed and leans down to take Hongjoong by the lips. 

As he kisses Hongjoong, he thumbs away Hongjoong’s tears and raises Hongjoong’s legs to push them against his chest. Once he does that, he pulls away and sits back on the haunches of his legs. Fishes around in the sheets for the bottle of lube before Hongjoong finds it, reaches out, and hands it to him.

There is a small smile that makes its way onto Seonghwa’s face as he looks down at Hongjoong. He never takes his eyes off him as he opens the bottle and pours some liquid onto his fingers. 

Then he rubs it between his fingers, attempting to get the lube warm. He hovers over Hongjoong once again and circles his entrance with his pointer finger before pushing it in. It goes in easy and he doesn’t waste time, inserting his middle finger right alongside it. 

Hongjoong’s facial expression turns from one of frustration to one of relief. He wraps one of his small hands around Seonghwa’s bicep and lets out a soft breath of air that comes out more as a content sigh than anything. His other hand stays holding one of his thighs to his chest.

Seonghwa begins driving his two fingers inside of Hongjoong with ease, pushing it back and forth while spreading them apart. He watches Hongjoong’s face closely, just missing seeing Hongjoong underneath him like this. 

So pliant and needy. Desperate and a bit petulant. He cannot wait to see Hongjoong completely fall apart, thrashing about and overcome with sensual sensations. 

The feeling of Seonghwa’s long, slim fingers deep inside Hongjoong, reaching places he could never reach with his own, has Hongjoong so on edge. Seonghwa can tell by the way he breathes heavily and his mouth stays open in a slack manner. 

His head is thrown back enough for Seonghwa to see the outlines of his Adam’s apple and flutters of his eyelashes against his cheeks. He thinks Hongjoong looks like a piece of art like this.

“Hwa,” Hongjoong moans out, an elongation on the last vowel of Seonghwa’s name.

“Mhm?”

“Third one. _Please_.”

With another hum, Seonghwa slides his fingers out. He grabs the bottle again, drizzles a bit more lube onto his first three fingers, and throws it back to the side. Then he slowly inserts his first couple of fingers into Hongjoong again, relishing in the broken whimper that falls from Hongjoong’s lips. After a few thrusts, he starts adding his ring finger.

Hongjoong’s hands fly to the bed beneath him. His fingers weave into the sheets and he grips them tightly as he lets out a rather loud moan. “ _A-Ah_ , S-Seonghwa…”

The fingers Seonghwa inserted inside Hongjoong search for the man’s prostate. Seonghwa presses against Hongjoong’s walls before curling his fingers into a ‘come-hither’ position. 

This action causes Hongjoong’s body to jerk and he lets out a gasp at it.

Seonghwa continues to drive his fingers deeper into Hongjoong, ceasing when he feels he cannot push them through anymore. He twists his wrist in a different direction, curls his fingers, gives one thrust, and Hongjoong is shooting up with a shout to grab Seonghwa’s forearm with both of his small hands. Seonghwa faces Hongjoong who is looking back at him with wide eyes and a flushed face. “Is that it?” Seonghwa asks.

Hongjoong nods his head quickly. “Yes! Yes! P-Please, please. D-Do that again, please,” he begs, gripping Seonghwa’s arm tighter as he says it.

There is no further discussion on that. Seonghwa presses harshly into Hongjoong again and watches his face for confirmation. 

Hongjoong throws his head back with a whimpered cry and bites his bottom lip.

Seonghwa sees the “ _okay, I’m good_ ” in that action and resumes to finger fucking him. He can feel the way Hongjoong is shaking and trembling. Hears him letting out bullets of breathy swears and lewd moans. Hears the squish and squelch from the excess amount of lubricant as he thrusts in and out of Hongjoong’s hole.

The hold Hongjoong has on Seonghwa loosens and eventually falls away. His hands make their way back into the sheets as he lies back down and arches his back into the air. When Seonghwa’s fingers hit Hongjoong’s prostate a little too harshly, Hongjoong emits a strangled shout and his legs kick forward. “Oh my God, Seonghwa, fuck me right now, please. Oh my God,” he begs, small tears running from out of the corners of his eyes as they are tightly shut.

Seonghwa chuckles quietly as he watches Hongjoong begin to lose his mind. He takes his fingers out of Hongjoong and wipes them on the sheets.

“Hurry up, Hwa,” Hongjoong whines.

There is another chuckle from Seonghwa as he slides off the bed to stand up and begin shedding his clothing. “I’m _trying_ ,” he responds. His pants, underwear, and socks all end up on the floor after he throws them.

Hongjoong groans as he lays sight on Seonghwa’s naked body. He throws his arms out and makes a ‘give-me’ hand motion with both of his hands. “God, I’ve missed that.”

Seonghwa laughs aloud as he climbs back onto the bed. “Missed what?” He sees Hongjoong’s eyes go straight to his hard dick standing against his taut stomach and snorts. “My dick? It’s not even big. It’s average.”

A raised brow comes from Hongjoong at that statement as he looks up with his eyes. “And?”

Another laugh emerges from Seonghwa and he shakes his head. He grabs the box of condoms next to Hongjoong’s hip, takes one out, and puts the box on the ground by Hongjoong’s bed. He looks at Hongjoong and hands the condom packet to him. “Hands still slippery,” he explains when Hongjoong gives him a confused expression.

Hongjoong takes the packet and tears it open with his teeth, careful not to rip the condom in the process. He slips the condom out of the wrapper and hands the wrapper to Seonghwa, who just throws it onto the floor next to the box. Hongjoong sits up and slides the condom onto Seonghwa’s dick, making sure not to rip it as he does.

When he finishes, Seonghwa leans down and presses his lips to Hongjoong’s, pushing him back down as well. He takes Hongjoong’s arms and makes him hold his legs open against his chest by using his small hands to press into his thighs. He then pulls away from the kiss and brings his hips flush against the flesh of Hongjoong’s ass. Licks his lips as he takes his cock into the hold of his larger hand. Guides the head of his cock to the entrance of Hongjoong.

He picks up the abandoned bottle of lube next to him one last time. Just turns the bottle upside-down and lets it pour right onto his dick. When he gets an amount he wants, he closes it and tosses it down onto the floor with the rest of the items he already threw there.

Some of the lube drips onto the sheets beneath him, but he does not care about it. He takes his cock into his hand again and lathers the liquid around his entire dick until it is evenly coated, or as much as he can get it evenly distributed.

“You ready, baby?” Seonghwa asks, looking down at Hongjoong who is staring at his cock.

“Been ready five years ago, Hwa. _Come on_ ,” Hongjoong pleads.

Seonghwa lets out a small snort and begins pressing into Hongjoong. He goes slowly, being sure not to hurt Hongjoong as he does not know how long it has been since they have last done this together. He watches Hongjoong’s facial expression, Hongjoong’s eyes fluttering shut and his mouth opening slightly with a small moan following. When his dick is halfway in, he lets go of his cock and moves his hands to the area where Hongjoong’s ass meets his thighs. He then fully bottoms out and stops moving to let Hongjoong adjust to him.

“Let me know when you want me to move,” Seonghwa says softly and leans down to plant a tiny kiss on Hongjoong’s shoulder.

Hongjoong gives him a nod and in less than a couple of minutes, he lets Seonghwa know he is ready.

Seonghwa fucks him _hard_ and _fast _.__

But not at first. He starts out slow and calculated like he is stepping into new territory. Gradually speeds up as the minutes go by. Thrusts in and out with purpose. But not as much as Hongjoong would like.

And that is what leads to the rough fucking. The way Hongjoong begs for Seonghwa to fuck him harder. Fuck him faster. Fuck him deeper. Break him and wreck him until he is screaming Seonghwa’s name.

It is a lot for Seonghwa to hear from him after not being with him for so long. But he does not dare to defy him. Always gives in for Hongjoong no matter what it is.

They momentarily forget how they are not the only ones around. The slapping from their skin meeting from every thrust resonates loudly throughout the room. Hongjoong’s does not restrict his moans from making their way out and Seonghwa does not discourage him from doing so either.

He leans down to kiss him but then makes his way down to his chest instead. Latches his teeth onto Hongjoong’s skin and bites a mark right in the middle of his chest, loving the way Hongjoong reacts to it by letting out a small whimper. He leans back to admire his work. Looks at the huge, red blotchy patch of skin. Loves the way Hongjoong looks under him. Utterly wrecked and matted down with sweat. 

And _he_ is the one who did that. 

_Him_.

He takes the fact and eats it whole.

As Seonghwa continues to fuck him, Hongjoong takes his dick into his small hand and begins jacking himself off. Seonghwa can tell Hongjoong is close to climax with how his hips continue to try to meet with Seonghwa’s. To send him over the edge, Seonghwa leans down again to whisper praises into his ear.

Tells him how great he is. How much he loves him. How much he would never stop loving him. How much he has been doing for the team. How many amazing things he has been doing. How much he has been working hard. How much he has missed him. How many different things he has wanted to do to him. How much he makes _him_ feel. How he _does_ feel. How beautiful he is. How sexy he is. How hot he is. _How wrecked he looks_.

On the last phrase, Hongjoong cums with a cry. It triggers it. Makes him tremble. He does not stop stroking himself until he has fully emptied all of himself onto his chest.

Seonghwa watches Hongjoong come apart with sharp eyes, hooked onto every detail and aspect of him. The tightness of Hongjoong around him. The way Hongjoong’s heat keeps pulling him back in so easily and has him _right there_. So close to reaching his own limit.

Hongjoong takes Seonghwa by the face and brings him down to kiss. It is more of their lips sliding against each other rather than actual kissing. Open-mouthed, noisy, and wet.

With a few more thrusts, Seonghwa is cumming as well, filling up the condom. All of his movement ceases as he reaches his climax, low groans making their way out of his mouth. He rests his forehead on Hongjoong’s forehead when he finishes and they both try to catch their breaths. Eventually, Seonghwa carefully slips out of Hongjoong. Slides the condom off of his dick and ties it tightly. Then he gets off the bed and drops it in their trash can, along with the empty wrapper. 

He grabs a water bottle from the stash they keep on their desk and grabs a dirty article of clothing from their hamper. Walks back over to Hongjoong while opening the bottle and pours a bit of the liquid on the clothing. He then presses one knee on the bed as he reaches down and begins to clean the mess off of Hongjoong’s torso and dick.

When he is done, he folds the clothing into a makeshift ball and throws it across the bedroom, back into their dirty clothes basket. He turns back to Hongjoong and Hongjoong is already looking up at him with a huge smile on his face. Seonghwa smiles back instinctively. “What?” He asks with a soft chuckle.

Hongjoong giggles softly and shakes his head. “We’re really a pair of dumb and dumber, huh?”

Seonghwa laughs at that and climbs over Hongjoong to lie by his side near the wall. “I think we’re far worse than that,” he responds.

It is Hongjoong’s turn to laugh and he reaches over to slap Seonghwa on the chest.

Seonghwa catches Hongjoong’s hand and intertwines it with his own. He smiles fondly. 

There is a moment of silence between them. Comfortable though. Not awkward.

“We’ll be okay?” Hongjoong asks quietly as he looks into Seonghwa’s eyes.

Seonghwa nods. 

“We’ll be okay.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“...Was letting them yell at each other like that a good idea?”

“How else would they have gotten their shit together?”

“Damn. That’s tough. You’re right.”

“Pass me the dip.”

“You think they’re done fucking it out yet though?”

“Dunno’. Somebody wanna’ volunteer to check-in on that shit?”

“Not it!”

“Not me!”

“Big fucking no.”

“Who in the fresh hell wants to do that?”

“Don’t you sometimes wonder how much Hongjoong-hyung and Seonghwa-hyung are packing?”

“Uh, we-”

“Please keep your horny thoughts to yourself. Thanks.”

“You all are a bunch of babies, oh my God. Move. I’ll do it.”

“R-I-P, Kang Yeosang. Nineteen-ninety-nine through twenty-nineteen.”

“If you do not shut the fuck up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to drop a kudos/comment if you really liked it! It really motivates me to write more after reading y'all comments. <3
> 
>  
> 
> If ya' wanna' talk ships and possible prompts for me to write, hit me up on [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/timeofsxrrow) or follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/timeofsxrrow) to DM me/tweet me! I mostly shit tweet, but I do post blurbs, headcanons, ideas, future WIPs, and other nsfw related stuff too!  
> I have a [separate Twitter account](https://twitter.com/sorrows_art) for fanart/complete nsfw, so if you're interested in that, feel free to follow me there as well!  
> I also have it listed on my [profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeofsorrow/profile) of what groups I can/will write for! :)


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